Below is a letter I received from a transsexual's mother. 

"My son, Daniel, finally let the "cat out of the bag" on his 25th birthday when I asked the "right question".....up 'til then, I knew something was bugging him but he would refuse to open up to me in any sense.   When he told me, I was devastated and didn't quite know what to do.

However, my husband and I finally sat with him and told him that---as long as he was NOT taking drugs AND was open to getting "help"--he could stay with us.

He had been going to "counselling sessions" and "support groups" set up by our FAMILY doctor and others??   I assumed Daniel was dealing with "depression" or whatever and these groups were to help him build some friendships with his peers.  We were totally unsuspecting of just WHAT these groups were "supporting".  Toward the end of the month, I called Daniel one night for dinner.  He came out and then disappeared into his room again---shutting the door.  He was there for quite a spell.  When he came out, I asked him, "How many (pills) are you taking?".....he blew up and then became very silent.  With his father sitting quietly at the table, I continued and said, "Well, I guess what you're saying by taking these drugs is that you don't want to live here anymore so by this time tomorrow, you need to be out of the house....."

By dinner time the next day, he was gone----he had a whole network ready to "catch him".   We did have some contact with him by phone and we did see each other once in a while.  Friday nights were BAD as my husband was out and Daniel would often phone in a panic or a bad space.  One night, he begged me to come and get him but I didn't even know where he was for sure and he hung up.  Shortly afterwards, a woman phoned and tried to convince me that I needed to support Daniel (she called him by a female name) or I had better go out and buy a black dress for his funeral.  This same woman had come with Daniel when he had arranged to visit with me one day.  He arrived ALL DRESSED UP and carrying a purse.  I was able to look past that and just love him as Daniel.  However, this woman marched right in the house and sat between Daniel and me at the table trying to convince me that what was happening was normal---not all that unusual.....asking questions like:  "What would you have named {   } if SHE had been born a girl?" saying things like; "You know there can be mix up at birth where a girl looks like a boy"  (stated differently....I can't remember her exact words)....

I just said that Daniel would ALWAYS be DANIEL to us---no matter what he looked like.  We gave birth to and raised a SON.

Remembering all this and writing it down is NOT fun but maybe it will help someone else.  Oh yes, all the local family got LETTERS in the mail.....I am sure they were "form-like letters" slightly personalized to fit Daniel asking us all to support him/her?? ....telling us a bit of what was going on....etc. etc. etc.  None of the local family knew what was going on and this REALLY threw us for a loop.  I was emotionally wrung out already and then had to deal with all this stuff.  Some cousins supported Daniel and tried to convince me to do the same----rifts developed.  It was ugly.

I think that people wanting to go this route must be put on some sort of "timeline" of things they must do to prove they are "serious" or something???  Do you know?

Oh yes----another thing.....we found out from another doctor that the "shrink" my son is/was talking with had been DISBARRED elsewhere for SEXUAL MISCONDUCT and was now here "working"............I did mention this to Daniel and all he responded was that he "trusted him"......IMAGINE!!!  This is my son who achieved excellent marks in school????  Who threw away his brain?

I have been longing to talk to other parents hoping against hope it was just something I could do to "fix" things and have my family back.  I hate family holidays----there's always this huge hole----mostly for me, it seems. "