No matter what direction your transsexual takes, or how you feel about it, you and your family can heal the pain and move on to a joyful, productive life.

Will it be easy? Probably not.  But, if you are to move on with your life there are things you MUST do, regardless of what your transsexual wants or has asked you to do or not do.

My transsexual son asked me not to "out" him, to live, talk and act like he has always been a girl.  What she was really asking me to do is lie and live in isolation.  I did what she asked for 5 years and drove myself into a deep depression that left me incapable of functioning at my normal high level.

I had to choose, my life or her life.  I cannot live her life for her so I had to choose my life.

If you are to live a full and joyful life free of anger, grief, pain and depression the following guidelines will help you.

1. Remember, it is NOT your fault that your loved one believes that he or she is the wrong gender.
2. You did not do anything to create their condition.
3. You are NOT responsible for their life, joy, success or any other thing that makes their life work.
4. No matter what you do or say, you may not be able to change anything.
5. Your TS must choose their own life path, with or without you as a part of their life.
6. If they choose out of your life, let them go.
7. Stop pretending, denying, and lying about your TS. This article may help you understand: "Let's Pretend"
8. Always tell the truth, even if your TS does not want you to. 
9. Forgive your TS. Forgiveness is never for the forgiven, it is always for the forgiver.
10. Live your life to the very best of your ability.
11. Love the people who are around you.
12. Let your TS live their life. With you as a part if they choose, on their own if they choose.
13. Refuse to be abused.
14. Refuse to be a victim.